around here {i hate wearing pants}

There have been a lot of struggles for me lately. The biggest of which is just trying to protect, move, rub, touch, know my left arm. There is a new pain or tingling or swelling every day as the muscles and nerves and tendons try to live again.

I just want to cut my baby girl’s nails. Or open the pack of cheese by myself. Or put my hair in a ponytail. I am trying to stay positive, but today has been hard.

But I must remember the blessings. A sweet, dear friend, who I didn’t know outside of our Mom’s bible study at church, has watched my children multiple times. She helped me dry my hair when I got to take a shower for the first time in three weeks. She rubbed Arnica cream on my arm. She made us dinner.

And she just came over with the pile of pants I told her that I was throwing away. I was wearing a pair of navy Land’s End sweatpants when the fall happened in the middle of my kitchen’s wood floor. I tripped on them and down I awkwardly fell onto my elbow. I swore I would never wear them or any other pants again (no joke). I’ve been wearing leggings (and I am not a leggings body type) and capris ever since. Because I am terrified of falling. In my head, I am going to trip and fall again. The feeling of having your pants touch the floor gives me the shivers. And I won’t let the kiddos wear socks any more either ( I used to love socks). Maybe I’ll calm down from all this in a month or a year, but for now, I hate pants.

So my friend, she sewed all of the hems to my pants for me. I am just in tears thinking about her kindness towards me. She even sewed the navy pair. I may even keep them — I’m still deciding. But now, between trying to look cute in Albion or Gap leggings, I can be familiar without feeling my pants scrape the floor.

Just a little step towards normal.

Just some pictures from past posts that make me happy…