the memorial day parade almost ruined my marriage
My husband and I laugh about this now. I share this story to tell you that we are not perfect with a white picket fence.
How can something so silly make us both so very, very mad?
My husband is not perfect. I am even farther from perfect. I {hate} when I read on others blogs about their perfect little lives and their perfect little marriages. Lies. Now certainly I have met some people whose marriages are{seem} perfect. But this is rare. With our — wills and struggles and hardships — and “but I want this to go there!” We lie by omission or through pretty photography {mine included}. And we still feel jealous of others.
I want to put an end to the lies, at least on my little blog — and do my part to say that marriage is tough.
Last year, at the parade, Marshall wanted to grab a coffee — (he is fine with my writing this post). I met up with our friends on the street and he went to the little shop down the road. It was really sunny, so my friends and I decided to cross the street so we, and the kids, would be in the shade. Marshall didn’t have his phone. So by the time he came out and found us, the parade had started — and he is not the type who would run between cars or clowns to get to us — which I would have no problem doing. So he left. And I stayed for the parade and the Veteran’s ceremony after. We didn’t meet up until hours later. It was not a good day for our marriage.
A friend of mine showed me this quote by Tim Keller from The Meaning of Marriage — as he discusses human relationships and the need — to be known — and loved — at the same time.
“When over the years someone has seen you at your worst, and knows you with all your strengths and flaws, yet commits him- or herself to you wholly, it is a consummate experience. To be loved, but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us” (95).
I love my husband. He is my best friend. And I am his. I must, every day, be a servant to him, choosing to put him before myself. Put our happiness ahead of my selfishness. I fail miserably. But we are both trying. We are both sinners and we both look to our Father who created us and knows us and loves us. Because He has saved us.
“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
“For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor power, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39).
And here we are this year. My three loves. (Not the best picture, but it’s all I have, for now, of the four of us!)
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Thanks for sharing this. I have a hard time sharing “real” things on my blog, but I always like seeing that other people have real lives behind their blog. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. And seriously, how did people survive without cell phones?! ;)
Thanks, Kirstylee — I just had the idea for this post at this year’s parade — I wanted to share honestly about marriage because it seems like a lot of the homeschooling /mothering blogs out there make us think that everyone else’s lives are perfect. But we all need Grace! Congrats to you! ♥ -Amy
Oh, goodness! It IS easy to think everyone else has it all together, because that’s usually what we write about. (And why not? Nobody wants to read a long succession of depressing posts, if we wrote about the negative all the time!) It’s good to be reminded on occasion that other bloggers are real people, too, and NONE of us is perfect. :)
You’re right, who would want to see all that? But it’s important to ground ourselves every now and then :) Thanks for stopping by, Rachel!! ♥
It is easy to think that others have it all together from the snippet we see on their blogs. I think I realized awhile back though that blogs are just that…a tiny glimpse at the person’s life. None of us are without trials and insecurities!! Thanks for sharing, Amy! :)
Sanz! And I loved your no-makeup, honest post too ♥