Another arm post. On the six month anniversary of the break heard round the world. A life-altering experience — the injury and what has followed. I am still recovering — my elbow is almost to full flexion and my extension is also much farther than I’d imagined it be — though not perfect — never “perfect” again. Right now I am dealing with a severe tight shoulder capsule. I both didn’t use and mis-used my shoulder and am paying for it dearly. But I have faith that through more physical therapy, I will be able to put my seat belt on with my left arm!
It is all in perspective. God gives us grace in all situations, and He has given me grace through my broken arm.
It was in the winter. There aren’t opportunities to go out. It is cold, cold, cold. And less guilt about not being outside with the kids because they can’t go outside in the sub-zero degree temperatures anyway.
I am a homebody. I don’t like rushing out of the house every day. I like being home 4-5 times a week and go somewhere once or twice (mom’s bible study and church and groceries primarily). I thrive at home with my kids. I know other moms or friends who have to be out and about every day. That’s not me, so that is a blessing. My injury kept me from driving or going anywhere, but it bothered me a lot less than it would have others.
I am an introvert at heart. You may not know this, especially if you “know” me in real life. But I love to be alone. I thrive on it. They say you are an extrovert if you get energy from being with others, and an introvert if you are exhausted from being around others. I definitely re-charge from being alone. Don’t get me wrong. I love being with people, I am loud and boisterous and dramatic and high-energy in group settings. But I love just snuggling and watching a movie on a Friday night instead of going out and being with a bunch of loud people — this spans back all the way to high school! So when I had to have lots (and lots) of solitude, that part of the injury didn’t effect me negatively.
YHWH Yireh. Jehovah Jireh. God provides. There was an amazing talk at my Bible study a few weeks ago. Reminding me that God gives us what we need. He will provide in different ways, ways we could not have imagined. Meals, childcare, strength, my husband, endurance through all the physical therapy.
It’s okay to ask for delights from Jesus. He longs to bless me. And life can be beautiful. So many little delights along the way through this journey….
I have a personal glimpse of what suffering looks like. But my injury doesn’t compare to what a lot of people around me have gone through this winter. Mental illness, death, cancer surrounds me, it seems at every turn. It has been a hard winter. And every time I hear of a new obstacle or hardship in my family or someone else’s, I am drawn closer to Christ.
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
2 Corinthians 4
Fear not, for I have overcome the world.
There is only one hope. Though in this world we have trials of all kinds — because sin is in our bodies and has festered in this beautiful creation — we can still hope. Because the blood of Jesus has justified us and we are alive in Him!
Thank you Jesus for being beaten bloody. Thank you Father for turning your face from him as he bore all the wretchedness of this world. Past present future. And thank you Spirit for sustaining and loving and holding each one of us through the worst of times. This life is not the end. We wish pain and suffering could end. But one day it will. When you come again. For now we hope in your resurrection, through believing we may have eternal life with you in your glorious heaven.
On Easter Sunday